Did you leave a big enough tip for the driver or waitstaff? If not, we hope this cookie tastes like the dirty little turd that you are.
Cookie of Misfortune
The opposite sex finds you repulsive. The universe has no idea how you’ve ever found any hint of love in the past.
Cookie of Misfortune
You’re a liar and cheater. Karma’s coming for you, bitch.
Cookie of Misfortune
Fuck you. Yes, you read this correctly. FUCK YOU.
Cookie of Misfortune
There’s absolutely nothing positive or profound to say about your life. Consider this a “misfortune,” if you will.
Cookie of Misfortune
Did you even fucking pay for this meal? Or is this part of your constant mooching, you cheap fuck?